Any of you that read this blog with any frequency know about a month ago I got my wisdom teeth pulled. Welp, when I went last time, I bitched up and only got 2 done. Now I have to go back today and get the other 2 removed. UGH. So I will be away for a few days. Pray for me.
I have stayed away from mascara for years because (1) I want to avoid raccoon eye and (2) there was just too many to choose from. But when I decided to step my makeup game up, I figured that I would need to suck it up and learn about this stuff. I hit the CVS in search of a good mascara. At the recommendation of every beauty blogger in the word I tried Maybelline Great Lash...I had high hopes. Didn't work for me. I'm not knocking it. I really just think that most mascaras are geared toward women with thin straight lashes or short lashes. Either way, I have thick curly lashes. I mean curls that circle around 2x. lol So I needed a mascara that made my lashes longer and made them pop. After trying several that did not work I found the Maybelline Colossal Volume Express. OMG. If you have not heard of this stuff, GET FAMILIAR. 
You need this in your life. I this stuff lengthens plums and curls. It has collagen. OMG!!! Porn star lashes here I come. No need for falsies with the mascara. How did I live without this? I seriously walk around the house in this stuff, doing random BS...like waiting for Fed-Ex. I am so serious.
Any of you make-up newbies, I strongly suggest that you get this. I got mine for $5.99 at Target. You cannot go wrong.
PS...No racoon eye.
-Trophy Wife
I strongly considered that maybe this is the wrong time to lose weight. I mean I have so many other things too do right now. So much on my mind and soooo many other things that I need to change.
Then I said "Self!"
Self said "What!"
"Stop being a dick. Please and thank you."
I suck at being a girl!!!! At least when it comes to make-up. I have mentioned this before. I am a total make-up novice. Since one of my New Year's resolutions was to become a makeup maven, I should really step my make-up game up.
I have been collecting a very small and inexpensive collection of drug store makeups. There are a few that have proven golden and that formulate my default look. Here's a little help for those of you that are in the same boat as me...Attempting to learn about this process and need a few staples.
So for the next 5 days, I will be introducing my top. They are by no means new, but they have proven to be reliable for a make-up retard.
L'Oreal Truth Cream Eyeliner - Black
I came across this eyeliner after much trial and error. I wanted that black-on-black eyeliner look that Rihanna (the new face of all things stylish) had been rocking. I tried 99 cent store liner pencils, more expensive pencils, liquid eyeliners, liquid pens...none of then achieved the look that I wanted. 
I saw this in the CVS and figured that it was a bit pricey for my taste ($11.99) but I needed that look. lol. And I had heard good things about the H.I.P. collection from make-up mavens. So I picked up. How did I live without this stuff? PERFECTION!!!!It is creamy, it has a sharp little angled application brush that makes you line as thin or ass thick as you like it. It's almost infallible. A few tries and you've got it. If you do screw up, it can easily be fixed.
So. If you are a total makeup noob or someone that just needs a liner that is THE SHIT...get this.
As I've stating before I am reading On Day My Soul Just Opened Up. I am sharing a bit of my take ways with anyone that cares. ... It is the absolute...Truth is eternal, same today as it was yesterday... As individual awareness expands and embraces the concept of divine truth, the understanding unfolds.
I've spent alot of time believing that truth is relative. It is difficult for me to grasp that the concept of truth itself is concrete. That it is absolute. What is true today will be true tomorrow. This could be why I incessantly feel that all things are fleeting. I still cannot grasp this concept. The only thing that is finite is math. And then that can be manipulated. This leads me to question whether the lack of stability in my life is a result of these feelings or because of them. That is something that I will have to further work out.
" I have so many lies in my foundation." (p24) I, like the author, and like everyone in the history of life, have been fed lies since conception. ( I'm sure that I was lied to in the womb as well ) Some of the lies I adopted and struggle with today, others make up the fabric of MY TRUTH, some things I just knew were bullshit but I let it rock any way b/c I was just supposed to eat the shit that was fed to me by certain people. I am pretty sure that these people had good intentions but the methods were just wrong. I realize now that they were just afflicted with the same type of well meaning people that they have become. Life is cyclical like that. ( That is one truth that I have come to realize. Like I said, there are very few things that are concrete for me. See I am learning.)
Now, I started this book a few days ago. Yet, I am stuck on Day 1. I've gone on to Days 2 & 3, but I continue to return to Day 1. This was obviously what was indented by the author. It is not explicitly stated, but I am sure that there is a method to the madness. Now, there can be several reasons for this. It is quite plausible that truth this the cornerstone of the other 39 lessons. I mean how can one grasp any of these as life lessons if they are no in the mind set that they are THE TRUTH. Or, it could be a subconscious way of her setting the reader up to accept her word as what is truth. Therefore, setting up for the acceptance of her arguments for the rest of the book as TRUTH. If you tell me that I have already been programed to accept lies as truth then you make me think that you are telling me what is truth and I will be more apt to accept that as such. HA. Did you get all that? That's how the mind works. It makes things more complicated then they were ever meant to be. We are programmed to think that we have to work hard for everything. Nothing is innate. If that is the case, why were we given instinct, gut feelings, or whatever the fuck you want to call it?
So suffice to say that I was wary of this who truth thing? I was compelled to question "Whose truth are we talking about?" Then I came across a phrase that rang true for me and make me less apt to write ole' Iyanla of a purveyor of bullshit.
"You must do your independent investigation of truth... When you are courageous enough to examine and challenge those things that you have been taught to accept as truth , you cannot help but find the truth behind the accepted meaning."(p25)
"We've got nothing but time and it is on our sides. This is why we continue to be provided with the opportunity to repeat and re-create our lives."(p27)
It is offcially time to get back on the weight loss grind. I have joined the Biggest Loser Blog Edition 2. I need serious help getting my ass in gear. I have 16 week to reach my mini goal of losing 40 (220) more of the total 100 that must be lost. TEAM ANGIE all the way. We are going to kick ass and take names.
Those of you that are reading this. Thank you. I have added some of you to my Bloglist. There is a shitload of you, so be patient with me. You will all get there eventually.
and then it died a slow painful death. No seriously I have decided to read this best selling self improvement book from the guru herself Iyanla Vanzant. Now, before you say it, this book has been out for about a decade. But, hey, folks swear by it and and I'll take all the help that I can get. 2009 is the year that I well quell my crazy. Or at least drastically reduce it.
If Iyanla can help me with 40 Days and 40 Nights Toward Spiritual Strength and Personal Growth, then I am on it... The skeptic in me says that it's total BS. 40 says really. Not even near possible. But you know what. I, and probably most of you, have a tendency to make simple things more complex than they should be.
I started the first 2 lessons and I have found them beneficial. I am not totally sold but we'll see. I'll be sharing some of my thoughts with you starting tomorrow.
Day 1. Truth.
Dear Me,
Stop trying to be everything all the time. When you do that, you get nothing done. Then you are left with this overwhelming fear of being worthless. Work on one thing, forming one habit, appreciate one day at a time. You no longer have to be all things to everyone. The world will not implode if everyone does not understand you. Yes, it would be nice if one person did, but you have always been a loner. That, baby, that takes strength.
Love always (although I don't always show it),
Me xoxox
Now I have gone on record as saying that 2008 has been the worst year of my life. But I have not lost the lesson, so to speak. This time that I have spent alone in my funk has given me time to really think. To be honest, I am probably thinking too much. I live in my head more than I live in reality. Out of this, I have learned a few things about myself and life in general.
1. Life never goes as planned. No matter how much you will great things for yourself, it rarely works like that.
2. All you have is you.
3. You keep doing the same shit you get the same shit.
4. I am in charge of how I react. Others cannot make me feel a certain way but me.
5. Accept help. It's there for a reason.
6. As long as you live there will always be a tomorrow. That is a good news and the bad news.
None of these are particularly original nor is the language poetic. I have heard all of these numerous times. However, it only resonates when I have practical life experiences to back it up.
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